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Thursday, July 23, 2015

Yelling At A Toddler Does Not Make You A Hero

By now, we've all heard the yell gone 'round the world.

Darla Neugebauer, owner of Marcy's Diner in Portland, OR, is a hero to some (more that should be) and a monster to others. 



It happened on a rainy morning, July 22 to be precise, that Tara Carlson, her husband and 21 month old daughter went to have breakfast at Marcy's Diner.  According to Tara, the wait was about 40 minutes and in that time her toddler (as most will) became fussy and impatient. She recounts that no one around them seemed annoyed or were staring, so she decided to wait it out instead of taking her child out in the rain. 



She ordered pancakes for her daughter, and when the food finally came she put them out of reach so they could cool off and she could feed her daughter. We all have done this. It's not something new. We don't want our toddlers eating food that's too hot, let alone making a mess all over the place because when toddlers feed themselves more food ends up all over than in their mouths. 

Apparently, Darla couldn't take the fussy child. While it seemed everyone else in the place didn't mind, Darla had to make a scene and throw To Go boxes at the couple and tell them, “Either she goes or you go!”

I'd like to take a moment to point out that Darla is so involved in what she's saying that she hinted that a 21 month old toddler leave the restaurant herself, while her parents finished eating because the parents weren't the fussy ones. Let that sink in for a moment. 

The couple decided to finish eating rather than, again, head out into the rain with empty bellies and To Go boxes. Darla, again, couldn't take it and slammed her hands down and angrily pointed at the toddler and yelled, “You need to shut the hell up!”

Firstly, you don't yell at someone else's child. It's not your place, or your job. Secondly, one who honestly believes that screaming at a fussy child will shut them up is more delusional than originally believed. 

While the story is shocking in and of itself, the people who are supporting the owner of the diner is even more so. Even after she posts things like this in response to the mother's Facebook review of her experience there.  


You can read the mother's account of it all HERE

Now, with all that said, if this were to happen to me when either of my children were toddlers - the outcome would have been totally different. No one yells at my kids, but me. And when they're yelled at, it's for bad behavior. Having a meltdown is not bad behavior. 

This Darla Trash would be walking with a permanent limp and possible some facial damage. I'm just sayin'. 

Monday, July 13, 2015

Wonderful Advice For Stepparents

I was having a discussion today with a friend of mine who was asking advice as to how to tell a step mother to not claim her stepchildren as her own. A friend of hers from high school and her husband have custody of the husband's children, but constantly posts and says things like 'my kids' on the constant.

She wanted to know how to tell her in a nice way....and after I was done laughing (because we all know I'm not known for my tact), I guided her to a blog that I found on the matter.
A blog I wished someone I know would have read.

1. You are not their mother. Or their ‘Bonus Mom,’ for that matter. Even if your husband has primary custody of the kids. Even if their biological mother rarely sees them. Even if they CALL you mom. Do not make the mistake of believing in your heart that you have all the same rights and privileges as the woman who gave birth to them– because you don’t. You can have a meaningful, loving, influential relationship with your stepchildren, but it will be different from that between a mother and child. That’s okay. Embrace it, and make the most of it.
2. Silence is the best policy. We live in a world where everyone loves to vent, whether it’s on Facebook, over the phone, or during a Girls Night Out, but take it from me– No one likes to hear a stepmother vent about her husband’s ex or her stepkids. One of the hardest parts about being a stepmom is the need to keep quiet about the tough stuff, and how it’s affecting you. If you’ve got to let it out, limit your thoughts to a very close, trusted friend, or even better- tell it to your counselor or therapist. Which brings us to number three.
3. Find a counselor or therapist, even if you don’t think you need one. My husband and I didn’t visit a counselor until we’d been married eight years- HUGE MISTAKE. I went into the first session thinking I was a horrible stepmom and that our problems raising the girls were unique to us and insurmountable, and do you know what the counselor told us? “You guys are doing great” I really, really, really needed to hear that. Going to see a counselor helped me stop beating myself up and allowed me to realize that what we were experiencing was actually NORMAL. For me, that changed everything. Also? You might need to visit a few counselors/therapists before you find the one that’s right for you. Be prepared to shop around until you find someone you and your husband are both comfortable with.
4. It’s okay to take a step back. This was initially a tough one for me, because I thought my girls needed me to act just like I was their mom. WRONG. Remember number one? I’m not their mom, and acting like I was probably caused some resentment and confusion on both ends. I now believe that a good stepmom is physically/emotionally available when her stepkids need and want her to be– and she backs off and becomes a behind-the-scenes supporter to her husband’s parenting when they don’t.
5. Protect your marriage at all costs. You and your husband need to be each other’s refuge, particularly when you’re having issues with your children or stepchildren. If childrearing issues are pulling you apart, pinpoint exactly what’s hurting your marriage and protect your relationship in this area immediately and relentlessly. A counselor can be WONDERFUL at helping you do this. Ultimately, zealously protecting your marriage benefits everyone- Your stepchildren need to see you and your husband stay together and fight for your relationship, even when times are tough. It will teach them to do the same some day.
6. Don’t compare yourself to other stepparents. You will come across other stepmoms who can’t stop raving about how WONDERFUL their relationships are with their stepchildren. “They tell me ALL their secrets!” they’ll gush. “They told me they think of me as their REAL MOM!” “They convinced the city to hold a parade in my honor!” Etc. Don’t let it get you down. Remember what I said earlier? More than 70% of blended family marriages fail. Girl, you don’t need a parade. You’re keeping it together. You’re doing great.
7. Don’t play the blame game. Maybe you, like me, have spent too much time beating yourself up about your shortcomings as a stepmother. Or maybe you think your marital problems are all your stepkids’ fault. Maybe you even think your husband is to blame, because he always seems to take their side. Realistically, you’re probably ALL partially to blame for the problems in your relationships. You can’t change everyone else, but you can change yourself. Work on that, and hope that your efforts inspire others in your family to try harder, too.
8. Forgive yourself. Stepmom, let’s just get something straight right now. You are going to make a lot of mistakes. Like, a LOT lot. Please don’t do what I did and spend years convincing yourself that something is very wrong with you because you seem to screw everything up. Forgive yourself. Over and over and over again. Forgive yourself. And move on.
9. You can’t fix what you didn’t break. My own stepfather said this to me a few years ago. I wish I had heard it a lot sooner, because I spent years trying to do a whole lot of fixing. I really thought I could solve everything and everyone if I just tried hard enough.  What a waste of energy. So many issues a blended family faces come from the divorce, which the stepmother (hopefully) had nothing to do with. As wonderful as I’m sure you are, you can’t fix that.
10. Stick with it and know that you will emerge from this a better person. Now that I have raised my stepdaughters and had time to look back on the experience, I feel like I ran a gauntlet of tremendous emotional challenges and came across the finish line truly changed. I am wiser. I am gentler with myself. I am more reluctant to judge others. I am a far better wife and mother than I would have been without my stepdaughters. Our family is still a work in progress, but the worst is behind us. We made it through. And the experience actually ended up being a huge bonding point for my husband and me.
I certainly don’t want to make being a stepmother seem all gloom and doom, because it isn’t. We’ve had many, many wonderful times together. I would change a lot of things I did as a stepmother if I could go back in time, but I wouldn’t give up my blended family. I still believe I’m here for a reason. We are all imperfect. We all have the potential to be amazing. We are all working toward that potential, in our own time and in our own way. We are learning more about each other as we go. We are all messed up, but you know what? We are family.

Sunday, July 12, 2015

I Did It!

With my RA on the rise in my hands (I've dropped three dog bowls and broken them so far this year.....a new record), I get very excited when I complete a project!  I get even more excited when I complete a project that involves things using my hand strength and it ends up looking pretty good!

That brings us to my latest project.

With all the orders I get in with DawnMoodyDesign, I had all my soap making and lotion bar making and lip balm making (you get the idea) all on my counter top in the kitchen. I can't take a mess. I can't take disorganization. It drives me batty.

I have previously made space in my pantry for some of my basics and bases, but I had all my essential oils and soap molds sitting out. Which meant that at least a 1/4 of my counter was occupied by a mess.

It started by a trip to the 99 Cent Only Store where I saw simple brackets. 2 for 99 cents. I originally bought them to put up a shelf in my kid's room. But I bought three sets and thought I'd make some in the kitchen first.



I went to Lowes and looked at lumber. At first I thought I'd just get like a 2x6, but then I saw some pine 2x2's and thought how cute it would be to glue three pieces together. Just so they're not so boring. That way, I could leave them unfinished too.


So, I cut the wood pieces in half and sanded them all down. Then I took three at a time and glued them together to make one slat. I ended up with three shelves.

I screwed the brackets to the walls and instead of screwing the shelves to the brackets, I turned a lip on them. In other words, the extra part where the wood shelf didn't cover, I turned up to act as a lip.

As far as price - this is the MommieDawn Squeeee part.

5 pieces of lumber at $2.98ea
3 sets of brackets at .99ea
$17.87 (minus tax)

UNDER twenty dollars for three shelves. I'd say that's a pretty good deal!  Even with my RA and everything else that ails this old sluggy body....I did it in one morning/afternoon.



May not seem like much to a lot of people, but I'm pretty proud of myself. LOL I even measured and leveled. Just sayin'.


Oh, I forgot to post this on the 4rth.....a cute dessert I made.  I just made a basic vanilla butter cake recipe and added red food coloring to one and blue to another and cooked them in 8" rounds. Then crumbled them up, layered with whipped cream, strawberries and blueberries.


Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Does Jennifer Aniston Hate This Picture?


This image is circulating around the internet thanks to Jennifer Aniston's Facebook page. So, let's start there. Aniston isn't a fan of social media. In fact, Jennifer Aniston is not on social media. There are Arabic posts on the page as well, and as far as I know she doesn't speak Arabic.

This should have stopped everyone there. But, not everyone does their homework.

Secondly, the image is not a new image. I've personally traced it back to 2009 and read that it may be as old as 13 years old. I read that it is a photograph taken in 2000 by Ed Freeman, a photographer and a gay man.

According to www.illwriteit.com _

According to Wikipedia, the picture you see to the right was taken in the early 2000’s by Ed Freeman. The person posting this picture under Jennifer Aniston’s name is making it sound like it was taken after the recent Supreme Court ruling. This is not true, it was taken years ago. This flag has also been sold online for years at sites like Getty Images.


The person impersonating Jennifer Aniston also posts videos in Arabic by a person named Ahmed Deedat. His own scholars have accused him of being Anti Christian/Anti any religion other than Islam. Furthermore people on his own facebook page have accused him of spewing hatred against Christianity and they also claim to of have tried to get him suspended.

PLEASE research. Never just sit back and get force fed bullshit then bend over and vomit it out for others to see. LEARN. 

Monday, June 29, 2015

Dear Ted Cruz - and any other uptight Conservative Christian Bible Thumping Moron who opposes EQUAL RIGHTS

In light of the law passed by SCOTUS last week, the internet (and life in general) is in abundance of bible thumping so loud my body is vibrating.

The stupidity abounding is so affluent, that I've had to wear my Cloak Of Common Sense in conjunction with my Cape Of Reality. I never wear both at the same time to ward off the stupid, but this week it's been a dire necessity.

Today, I pen a letter to  many....the stupid, the stubborn and the unbearable loud for no reason. One is Ted Cruz, but includes Dan Patrick and Michele Bachman, among others.

Ted Cruz and I went to rival highschools. I remember that plea he made to possessing alcohol as a minor. And another incident involving senior pranks. He covered for you fellow hijinxers. Covering the wrongdoers? Tisk Tisk. Bad decisions in the 80s hasn't stopped. Has it?

Dear Ted Cruz,

How can you justify backing someone who refuses a marriage license for a gay couple over religious freedom and disagreeing with our government giving gays HUMAN RIGHTS? You choose religion over humans?

The First Amendment states that "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion". Guess what? Not every marriage is based in religion.

People like you cry about this being an unfair law because it disagrees with your religious freedom (which we ALL do not share). But we are ALL human and homosexual couples are overdue for EQUALITY.

You said you wouldn't back a person denying a mixed couple a marriage license. Right? Because that isn't a religious issue. Right? Neither is homosexuality. WHO YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO IS NOT A RELIGIOUS ISSUE EITHER! BASIC HUMAN RIGHTS!

Get over yourself. Stop talking. You, along with a lot of other bible thumpers and conservatives, are looking like babies who's pacifiers were taken away.

But, let's just for a moment, humor you and your religious rights to other people's marriages based on the bible. Ok? The Bible's definition of marriage is confusing and contradictory. For instance, one man and one woman? Nope. Polygamy, a practice that was embraced by prominent biblical figures Abraham and David, was rampant throughout your holy book.  Many bible passages mention not only traditional monogamy, but also self-induced castration and celibacy, as well as the practice of wedding rape victims to their rapists. The rapist would have to marry who they raped, but not only that. They can pay off the girls' fathers with silver. Lovely. Do you support rape too then?

You, among others, have made a career out of using the Bible to justify opposition to hot-button topics like same-sex marriage or abortion. People like you aren't interested in the truth or the complexity of the bible. You are looking for one ancient sound bite to convince people what you want them to believe. Anyone who argues that the bible speaks plainly on one issue, especially something as complicated as marriage ... hasn't take the time to read all of it.

You want to fight in the name of religious freedom? Ok. Go after Christians who eat fish and bacon. Attack those wearing multiple fabrics. Arrest women not covering their heads, or in the least cut all their hair.

Also, I've been thinking that you need to add to your platform. I think if you add construction, which means more jobs!, of Lady Buildings. That way, all ladies having their monthly bill can be just corralled up together until they're done bleeding. That way, everything they touch (which is  unclean and impure) can be burned together. What do you think? Do you put Heidi aside during her time? I hope you don't touch her. Impure! Unclean!

I also think you should not only try to stifle gay rights, but go after those who try to protect children. Child slavery is a good thing! Well, according to your bible. You may purchase male or female slaves from among the foreigners who live among you. You may also purchase the children of such resident foreigners, including those who have been born in your land. You may treat them as your property, passing them on to your children as a permanent inheritance. You may treat your slaves like this, but the people of Israel, your relatives, must never be treated this way. Leviticus 25:44-46

But, if the police and society followed your bible to the letter, you'd not be here. Any son who disobeys their parents are to be stoned. I mean, certainly your parents told you drinking or possessing booze underage is wrong. Right? Why didn't they stone you? Shame, shame. Bad BAD Christians!

Do you check every man's penis on the regular? I mean, ANY penis that is cut is an abomination. Did you have a circumcision? How do you hang? If it's cut...sorry, you are not allowed into the kingdom of the Lord.

And finally, the definition of marriage. Christians say this law is redefining marriage. Guess what? It's already been redefined by man a LONG time ago. It's NOT redefined by this law. Not by a long shot. We don't live biblical marriage today, do we? Time changes things and we evolve, while the book stays the same.

Thank goddess you people don't take the bible as serious as you pretend to. We'd all be in big trouble.

HUMAN RIGHTS! WE ARE ALL ENTITLED TO THEM! SO SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND OPEN YOUR BIBLE! 

LIVE IT ALL OR NONE AT ALL!

Sunday, June 28, 2015

Baby Powder Bath Bomb in Action!

The Bath Bombs in the store are awesome...the scents, relaxation, sparkles, colors and fizzies! I love making them as much as people love using them! The Ooh Baby Baby FizzieBlitz is a favorite!



This week, a little princess used some of the Baby Powder bath bombs with sparkles. She even sent me a video!

video



Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Beard Oil

Beard oil is a MUST to keep your beard looking (and smelling) great! It conditions your beard hair and your skin! It also acts as a natural cologne!



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